Tamana Ve?

I wrote this about month ago with no intention of blogging it. For whatever reason I just sat down and started writing, which is odd considering I have never written in or kept a journal in my life. Reading it now, though, it seems like something you all will appreciate.

Quick update on the library project: After several weeks of trying to get the money that several Malagasy donors had promised months ago, they have finally given me (at least part of) their contribution. Building is going to start on the 11^th of November. Again, thank you so much to all of you who helped make this possible. I will try to keep you all updated as best as I can through the interwebs.

***************

I think after a year and a bit I can finally say, “Yes, I am.” I’m not really sure what brought this particular thought process because I haven’t had an especially awesome day, but what the hell.

No two Peace Corps volunteer experiences are the same. Obviously, this would be true of a volunteer in Fiji and a volunteer in Ethiopia, but I am talking about volunteers within Madagascar, too. My Peace Corps experience has been worlds apart from even that of my two site mates; the bottom line is I got extremely lucky. From what I have heard of the volunteer placement process (not for country, but for town/village within a country) it doesn’t seem that many aspects of one’s professional background are matched with site needs. Instead, it’s more of a mix and match with no great systematic approach, aside from possible medical requirements. I remember I was a bit confused when I wasn’t matched to my first choice, a town in northern Madagascar that had an English radio program started by a previous volunteer. I think anyone who knows me would agree that this would have seemed like a perfect match. But after the two-week process of reviewing and researching all the different sites available to the group of volunteers I came to country with and trying to conceal those choices from your new friends (a very awkward time) so as to not give too much away, I genuinely became fed up. The day before our site announcements we had an interview with Peace Corps staff members and I told them I didn’t really care anymore. I didn’t say it with malice or frustration in my voice (even though I really was fed up). I just said, ‘you have my choices, whatever you decide I am fine with.’ From the beginning of the application process up until that point, we are given no say in anything that happens to us, so for us to have a choice in where we live for two years in a tropical island, you can imagine the tension. Turns out, I was very convincing in that interview because I was placed in one of the sites no one asked for. When you come from the land of running water, electricity and porcelain toilets it is pretty easy to gravitate towards those things when you are given the option. After I found out I was going to Ampasimanjeva I looked back at my research of the site and saw the words “Fuck No” on the top. To this day, I have no idea why I wrote that. It’s almost embarrassing that I made such a judgment off a piece of paper.

Fast forward to today. I live in a house made out of the equivalent of tree bark. When it rains, it sounds like Armageddon (I’m actually hoping for a cyclone this year just to see if this baby can take it). I fetch (often nasty) water from a well about a football field away and poop in a hole about 200 yards away (a distance of which has definitely presented problems so far). I live in a town small enough where there are no restaurants for a quick meal. So even after a long, crappy day I still have to cook (an activity I hate) or I just don’t eat. Usually, I go with the latter. I know this sounds like complaining. I can tell you we volunteers do plenty of complaining about our respective situations (usually for therapeutic reasons), but I assure you this is the exact opposite.

When I first arrived here in Ampasimanjeva, people used to ask me, “Tamana ve anao?” (Are you settled? Do you like it here?). Obviously, I said yes because no one in American culture would ever say, “Hell no, this sucks” or “What the hell did I just get myself into” especially if you are expected to live in this place for another 2 years. So, I went with, “Oh, yeah. This is awesome. I’m completely settled in.” I was very convincing indeed. To be honest, I don’t think I would have known how to say in Malagasy my reasons for not being tamana yet.

I have come to realize that even though these people and this culture can frustrate the hell out of me, it is exactly what I was looking for. Even though it can get incredibly lonely when you have no electricity, nothing to do, and are staring at four walls infested with ants, rats and flying roaches. This is home and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I think I can finally say, “I am tamana.”

We just finished our one-year conference and we had a session for those possibly interested in extending their service. It got loud in the room and it became very clear that about 90% of the volunteers completely tuned out. I think myself and maybe two other people were genuinely interested (don’t panic yet, mom. I’m just considering it). As I mentioned, there are days where I can’t wait to get out: the general apathy and lethargy of a lot of the Malagasy people can be deflating, disengaging and exhausting. Even still, these people find pleasure in their own livelihood, no matter how awful it may appear to the outside world. Who are we (the first world) to judge their way of life if it doesn’t seem to bother them? We use phrases like “the third world” and make judgments based on the 30 seconds CNN devotes to some small village in Africa once per month. I think what I am trying to say is that I finally understand what Peace Corps meant when they said volunteers often get more out of the experience than they give. Malagasy people often jokingly ask me if I can take them back to the states with me when I leave. These people are very small so they would probably fit in most checked bags. Just kidding. The truth is that while they are curious to hear my answer, I don’t think these people really have any desire to live in a culture where work and money come before everything (not to mention a life without rice three times per day. God forbid). I have met people, both Malagasy and ex-pats, who have the money to go somewhere else in this world, but choose Madagascar. Why? American culture would consider such a mentality completely nuts, as did many volunteers’ families when they left for the Peace Corps (I got lucky and had nothing but support). Granted, a lot of these people (but not all of them) who choose Madagascar have the financial means to live lavishly in a country like this.

Other volunteers tell me about their friends back home who are working jobs they hate, but what else can they do? Quit and move back in with their parents? No, society tells them that is failure even if you have the most accepting, helpful parents in the world. Even volunteers who are heading home and going to live with their parents until they can find work seem to feel like they have to justify their reasoning for doing so. I don’t know what the answer is for people stuck in miserable jobs, but if it happens to me, I would probably go crazy, especially after doing something like this. The more I think about it the more life in the states (and the first world in general) seems like a race toward retirement. Don’t get me wrong, I know there are people who love their jobs and never want to retire, I’m just talking about people my age who are stuck in a rut with no way out.

Just before I started writing this I had a conversation with my friend outside about the library and what he thinks it will mean for this town. Such a conversation would never happen at 2:30 on a Monday afternoon. No way! Those are precious work hours and time is money. I am almost 26 years old. I will not have much money when I return to the states and I couldn’t be happier. A lot of times you’ll hear volunteers say something like, “yeah, this job is great, but I have to get back and start a real life.” I understand the viewpoint – we are living here on the government’s dime with no real structure to our work schedule. If you are not a teacher, your own self-motivation is literally the only schedule you hold yourself to. Thankfully, Peace Corps is loaded with self-motivated people. But to me this doesn’t feel like a transition to a real life. I don’t think it is something that I just needed to get out of my system.

Okay, you’re all probably thinking, “Holy crap, he’s finally lost it.” But I swear I haven’t (although I guess that’s what anyone would say right before they are checked into the nut house). I am just reflecting on my own experiences here and what it may mean for my future.

When I first got here, I have questioned whether or not I should have stayed in Detroit and done humanitarian work there. We all know that city needs all the help it can get. That is my plan for when I return – to live near family and play some role in the attempt to restore Detroit. But the longer I live in a place where phrases like “time is money” or “Eat. Work. Sleep” are just that, idioms, and not actually ways of life, the more tempted I am to stay. Is it possible to live a life in the U.S. without regard for money? Hope so. Will I be here for a third year? I don’t know. All I can say is it’s not out of the question.

I just got back from a trip to Mauritius with my parents for 6 days. It was unbelievable. I met some of my dad’s family that I had either never met before or couldn’t remember because I was too young at the time. It was so great that I am hoping to go back with some of my Peace Corps friends over Easter vacation. Despite the beauty of my 6-day getaway, coming back to my small village in Madagascar definitely messed with my mind. I wonder…if I go back to Detroit right away will I forget how great of a time I had here? Will I want to come back at some point? Will I base my decision on the cost of a plane ticket? I really hope not.

I wrote that a few weeks ago and I guarantee my opinion on all of this has changed at least 2 or 3 times with the ebbs and flows of my work. This is a love-hate relationship and I think this post shows the side of me when I am really loving my job.

Misoatra Betsaka!

Words in a blog post could never really do justice to my excitement or gratitude to what just happened in the past few weeks with my library project. It appears as though the goal amount has been met and the webpage has shut down. For this I say THANK YOU SO MUCH!

One of the reasons Peace Corps turned down my original library proposal was because it was too expensive, which I understood. The whole idea of Peace Corps is to help build sustainable ideas, not necessarily giant structures. Trust me when I say this library is far from a giant, but hopefully it will serve as a tool for continued education and English learning for the hundreds of people who can’t finish school for one reason or another.

When Peace Corps turned down my first proposal they told me that the average volunteer project takes about 6 months to raise $4,000 (or something like that). You all helped me raise $6,000+ dollars in only a few weeks. For that, I, along with the thousands of residents of the Faraony region, am eternally grateful. To everyone who donated, reposted the link, emailed it to friends, or made personal sacrifices to donate a few bucks– you have helped raise a large amount for a Peace Corps project and apparently did so in record time. Thank you!

I have not received an official email from Peace Corps saying the project goal amount has been reached, but my parents and I checked the site every day while on vacation this past week until we didn’t see it anymore. Peace Corps said the money would be transferred into my account 7-10 days after the goal amount is reached. Nothing yet, but I’m sure it’s on the way. I am headed back to my site today to work on collecting the money owed by my community. I believe I already mentioned it, but your portion is 75% of the project’s total cost. The other 25% must come from the people in my community. It can be in the form of manual labor, material donations or money. Three different groups agreed to give me the rest of the money needed to build the resource center. Now, I just need to go get it. I am hoping to start building in November or December. Obviously, I will keep everyone in the loop throughout the process and try to post pictures of it all.

I thought I might end this post with a quick story since everyone seems to like hearing about weird events that happen in Madagascar. A few weeks ago I was heading by to my town on a taxi-brousse from my banking town and the place where I taught for two weeks this summer: Manakara. On the way, I saw a rare, albeit fairly disgusting site. I should preface this by saying that there is no shame in public breastfeeding here. All mothers do it at all hours of the day in all areas of the country. Sometimes these mothers can be a bit older and that can be a tough thing to see.

Anyway, so we are in the brousse and everything is going well (or about as well as any long distance trip can go in a sh*tbox with wheels). At that point, one of the twin boys belonging to the woman in front of me breaks out in a sobbing cry that could easily be mistaken for an international siren warning of Armageddon. In effort to silence the child, the mother lifts up her shirt and starts breastfeeding. Not two minutes later, the other twin realizes there may be some favoritism happening so he starts balling his eyes out. So, the mom picks up her other child, lifts up her shirt completely and the boy starts feeding. Last year, such a site would have been mildly disturbing. Now, I call it Tuesday. The boys have since stopped screaming so I try to fall asleep.

A few minutes go by before the woman sitting next to this mother taps me on the shoulder and asks me if I have a plastic bag. To ask for a plastic bag inside a moving taxi-brousse is to say, “I am about to blow chunks. Please help me out.” Unfortunately, I didn’t have one but thought to myself, ‘if you turn around and face anywhere but my direction, I will move mountains to help you find one.’ Turns out, there were a few up near the driver so he passed one back to this lady who then held it in front of the mother (she has no hands at this point since they are occupied by her two breastfeeding children). The bag is placed in perfect time and the mother proceeds to throw up and ungodly amount of food that would give even the most potent of projectile vomiters a run for their money. What made this whole scenario hilarious/disgusting/surreal was that the two kids didn’t even come up for air or to see what was going on while this was happening. Even funnier maybe was that not a single person in this beyond capacity taxi-brousse was acknowledging it. I could do nothing but laugh as the whole situation.

Just another funny experience I thought you may all want to hear. Thank you all again so much for your help with my library project! I can’t wait to get started and show you all how it is going.

Approved!

They approved the library and set up a website for donation! Here is a link to the donation page. You just have to select Madagascar from the drop down list, find my name and select an amount. Thanks so much everyone. I'll add a more complete blog post when I have the time.

https://donate.peacecorps.gov/index.cfm?shell=donate.contribute.donatenow

Education Updates and a Few Pictures

I apologize for yet another long absence from the blog. All is well here on the red island. I am one week in to a 2-week BAC prep course that I am teaching in my banking town, Manakara. I may or may not have explained this already, but the BAC is a weeklong exam that all students graduating high school must pass in order to get their diploma and be eligible for university. The passing rate for this exam is shockingly low (10 students out of about 70 terminale students from the school I teach at passed the BAC last year) and it doesn’t seem like these low numbers seem to bother people. While I don’t know what the minimum passing score is, it is nothing close to the standard that students are held to in the United States (no matter what test we would be taking). The average Malagasy student who has desires of going to college in North America would be royally screwed because the test expectations are so high. But back to the idea that no one seems to blink an eye when only 10 students pass the biggest test of their lives. This apathy, generally speaking, is the attitude toward education in this country. Clearly, this is extremely depressing as someone whose humanitarian work and entire purpose for being in this country is based on education, but also just as another resident of this country. I’ve become close to a lot of host country nationals here so seeing the apathy in teachers and students alike after repeated attempts to explain what the average educated person can do in his life compared to the person who is not – it makes you question your purpose on a large scale.

Good news, though, speaking of promoting education! I just received more than 1,000 books for my town. The books are from Books for Africa, an organization back in the states. About 20 volunteers started this project roughly 2 years ago and unfortunately a lot of them are no longer PCVs in Madagascar anymore so they weren’t able to see the books in their towns, but several other PCVs (including myself) took over for those people and benefited greatly for it. Big thanks to Brittany Bemis! No Peace Corps experience is complete unless a million things go wrong; you have a few mental breakdowns, another few days of pure bliss and a few dozen Malagasy people calling you vazaha. This was exactly that. While you have moments of pure misery and vague thoughts of ETing (early termination of service) during these projects, the end result makes everything so worth it. Another reason Peace Corps is the hardest job you’ll ever love. Anyways, so my books are at the house of a volunteer 12 km from me. The big truck carrying the books couldn’t bring them all the way to my site because the road is so bad and they never would have made it. It’s usually pretty bad, but it has been raining a lot recently turning what was a pretty bad road into complete mush.

Quick side story

When I was coming to Manakara to teach this course we got stuck in mud 3 different times so everyone got out to push. It’s always funny to hear the reaction of Malagasy people when they see a white person. Sometimes its excitement, sometimes its anger (thank you to the French and colonization for that one), and other times it is complete terror, but that is usually just with young children (no joke. There is one child who breaks into a deathly cry whenever I walk past her house). Anyways, watching people watching me push a taxi-brousse up a mucked up hill was amusing. It’s weird because Malagasy people can be so cruel to vazaha, but they still seem to look at any foreigner as royalty. The shock on their faces as I was slipping and sliding around and getting covered in mud was the equivalent of the face of any hockey fan if the Columbus Blue Jackets won the Stanley Cup and everyone on the team only had one leg – it seems impossible.

But back to the books! So, they are waiting in a town near me and I am going to bring them the rest of the way once I am finished with this English course here in Manakara. These are books for basic, intermediate and advanced English learners, math textbooks, science textbooks, encyclopedias in French and English. It’s really unbelievable. Speaking of unbelievable, I was told last week that my library project is going to be approved (though I’ll sleep better once it actually is) and is just waiting on a signature from our Country Director. Rainy/cyclone season around here is no joke, so you can’t really start building between December and February. Depending on how long it takes to raise the money, I am hoping to start building in either November or at the end of February. The builder says it should take a month to complete and by that time all the books will have been sorted/coded/etc and ready to be put on the shelves meaning we could open it a few months before I end my service. This is obviously my hope for rest of the library project, but as I mentioned earlier no Peace Corps project is complete without plenty of misery and pain. Can’t wait to see what that will be.

A few weeks ago I was a trainer for the new education volunteers who just arrived in country. New volunteers are a really big deal in Peace Corps culture. Everyone gets really excited to see new people – I guess we are like Malagasy people in that sense. Huh, interesting. Anyways, I was at the Peace Corps training center for a week talking to 29 new people about my experiences in the first year and it was a great time. I basically gave presentations on teaching English as a foreign language as well as the Malagasy education system and its culture. It was really weird to be on the other side of the training experience. I’m obviously still learning every day that I am here, so being the one to pass on the knowledge was strange.

So, I am here in Manakara for the next week and a bit teaching this English course. After that, I am going back to Ampasimanjeva to hang out there for a few weeks before heading to Fort Dauphin, a city down on the southern coast, with a few other volunteers. After that, my parents are coming here for a week although we still have no idea where we are going. Then, I go to Tana for a ‘one year in’ meeting before heading back to site for another school year and hopefully some library building.

I meant to tell everyone this a long time ago, but I forgot every time I wrote a new post. I don’t use the P.O. Box address in Manakara anymore. The volunteer to whom that PO box belonged to left the country back in April and closed up the box when he did so. Let me know if you sent anything to that address since April. I should still be able to get it. For the future, you can use this address for the Peace Corps office in Tana:

Peace Corps

Lot II K 76

Bonnet Mahatony Ivandry

Antananarivo 101, Madagascar

It is harder for me to get because I don’t go to Tana very often, but when people from our region go up there we usually pick up stuff for each other and bring it back. It’s also cheaper to receive packages there than here in Manakara.

Finally, in a previous post I mentioned that I recently organized a meeting for my region in the mountains. Here are some pictures from the weekend.

The whole group near our camp site.

A nice little trek through rice fields on our way up to the camp

One Year in Madagascar

About two and a half years ago, while sitting in the middle of a deserted newsroom in the middle of the night, I started thinking that I might be more useful [to the world in general] if I did something about all the horrible things I was writing in the news as opposed to just writing and complaining to my coworkers about how awful people can be. That is when I started doing Habitat for Humanity pretty regularly. I really enjoyed the work and the people I was working with so I got to thinking about a mission trip. Unfortunately, most of these trips were either religiously affiliated or extremely expensive. Peace Corps was neither.

Fast forward to today. It’s pretty wild to think I’ve been here in Madagascar for a year.

In a year of Peace Corps service I have been lucky enough to experience things that some people will not be able to experience in their lifetime. I have met hundreds of different people and tons of volunteers. These are some of the coolest, most interesting and down-to-earth people on this planet. I have learned a new language and adopted what I once thought to be the craziest of cultural behaviors as my own (I eat rice twice a day at site). I have pooped in a hole and in my pants (you won’t believe the things this country does to your bowels). I have hit the highest of highs and lowest of lows. I love my job and I am excited about the next year.

This past week I was at the Peace Corps Training Center about 2.5 hours east of the capital city here in Mada. I was lucky in that I got to be around other Americans for July 4^th and I have spent the last week and a half hanging out with other volunteers (something you are always looking forward to when you are at site). Unfortunately, while I was with these great people, I missed yet another major event back home: my cousin’s wedding. CONGRATULATIONS SHANNON AND JOHN! Shannon, I am imagining a wedding of spotlight, sevens, volleyball, monopoly and hundreds of other games. Whether they were involved or not, I hope you guys had a great time and are now enjoying a honeymoon somewhere. Sorry I missed it. Congrats to the happy couple.

I am going to try and sum up the last few months because I know it has been a while since I posted anything. Here goes…

8 new volunteers landed down in the southeast a few months ago. They are all cool and it seems like we are all getting along really well. It’s pretty wild to think about all the people who apply to Peace Corps, all the people who get selected, then those who are sent to Madagascar and then those who are sent to the sudest. No one picked Madagascar and a lot of us didn’t pick the places we now live in within Madagascar, but we all seem to get along really well.

Every 4 months all the volunteers from each region in Madagascar get together for a meeting to talk about new Peace Corps policies and rules. I am the representative for the sudest region, so I am supposed to decide where and when we have the meeting, conduct it, and then report back to Peace Corps when it is over. A few weeks ago, our region went on a camping trip in what could vaguely be described as the top of a hill in the middle of nowhere. We biked, swam in a waterfall, hiked a few moutains, roasted smores, had bonfires and enjoyed ourselves. It seemed to be a hit with everyone, so that was nice. There were a lot of things that could have gone really wrong, but nothing did. I am excited to start planning another one in October.

I have now finished a full year of teaching. I don’t really have the memory to recollect all the major events that happened during the past school year, but a few things come to mind. For example, I remember the shock I felt standing in front of my first class and wondering how I would ever get them to understand what I am saying let alone teach them the English language. Another day I watched as a student was forced to kneel in a puddle of mud and water because he tried to climb through a window when he was late to class. I continued to teach oblivious to the fact that the lycee secretary was stealing several million Ariary from the lycee. I also remember a significant amount of frustration coming from how often classes were cancelled.

Don’t worry. It’s not all bad, but usually things that are bad have more of a shock value and I remember them better.

I should say that while not all students have the dedication to learn English, there is a select few with motivation unlike any I have ever seen. I have one seconde student named Tokishery. I originally thought about donating an entire blog post to him, but I think these few paragraphs will suffice:

Tokishery wakes up at 3:30 every morning to make food for his entire family (about 6 people). While cooking rice is not difficult, it is still time consuming. When he is done cleaning up he leaves the house to bring his two younger sisters to school – an hour and a half walk without shoes to the main part of town. More recently it has gotten pretty cold in the morning, so he walks to school in colder weather without any warm clothes (because he doesn’t have any) or shoes along a dewy, dirt road.

This made me think back to my years in high school and the American mentality in general. Most high school students would probably fight our parents every step of the way if we were asked to drop off and/or pick up our siblings from school. If it were cold outside, we would grab the nearest North Face jacket, a hat and a pair of gloves and be on our toasty warm way. You might even thrown on boots if it was particularly cold or if you just thought it had been a long time since you wore them. Plenty of us probably utilized before- or after-school time to talk with teachers, but if any of us ever had to wake up at 3:30 am to do so you can be pretty sure no one ever would. Lastly, before we got in our cars to drive the few miles to school, we would probably run the engine for a few minutes – cranking up the hot air and defrosting the windows – because taking that 10-minute ride without a warm car or clear windows would be downright miserable. I hope I am not offending anyone because I am literally only speaking from my own experiences. It just seemed/seems as though this is a cultural norm (at least in suburban Detroit).

Anyways, back to Tokishery. Once he has dropped off his sisters, he backtracks 40 minutes to get to my house roughly a half an hour before classes start so he can speak English. In addition to his two younger sisters who live in Ampasimanjeva, Tokishery has another younger brother and a younger sister. For some reason, Tokishery’s parents chose them as the two to send to Manakara for their education, an expensive privilege that (from my experiences) is usually given to the oldest child. How about that for a slap in the face? He said his parents need him to work in their rice fields and help with the manual labor around the house. Now, he is trying to learn English to hopefully find his way out of Ampasimanjeva. A few weeks before classes ended he asked me if I could help him find a job before I leave this country. He wants to either work on a boat in Mahajunga or Tamatave or be a tourist guide. I have no idea how I can help him with that, but I’m gonna try.

The Library Project…

The last time I posted I said that I had just sent in my first proposal for the library. Well, it was not approved. Peace Corps prides itself on investing in low-cost projects and building capacity, not monuments. My project was slated to cost about $8,000. While the cost was not the only problem with the proposal, it was the one that stuck out the most. Other flaws in the plan included how I would impart knowledge on my community about running a library in order to help it thrive long after I leave this country. I have since fixed these issues and re-sent my proposal. Unfortunately, making all these changes took about a month for several reasons. First, I don’t have electricity and the report is a formal one, completed on a computer. Minor problem. Second, I live 3 hours from my builder who I had to meet with twice to make the library smaller and cheaper. Third, a French man in my town was going to donate a solar panel and computers to the library, which would have been a huge part of the 25% contribution that all Peace Corps volunteers must get from their community. Unfortunately (but still good at the same time), he is building new classrooms now so he is going to add the computers and solar panel to his new building. With that decision, I lost about 3 million ariary worth of community contribution so I went back to Manakara to talk to the education and regional government ministers to ask for money. They promised to give the money, but saying is one thing and doing is another. I will sleep better when that money is actually in my hand or bank account.

I will admit that Peace Corps not accepting my first proposal was a pretty low point, but I didn’t mind going back out and putting in the leg work to do what I needed to do to fix it. I don’t imagine I will find the same drive if it is denied a second time with all the changes I have made. I imagine it will be pretty difficult for me to get back on the saddle and use another month or so to make the necessary changes. Finally, I have now passed the one-year mark of my service, so it goes without saying that if any library is going to happen, I need to be able to start fundraising soon if I am going to finish everything before my COS date.

So the school year is now over. As taxpayers, I’m sure you would all like to know why Peace Corps is giving me a monthly allowance to live in this country when I have no formal work during the vacation.

Well, I just finished a weeklong training to train the new education volunteers that will be arrivingon Thursday afternoon. I will be training themfrom the 22^nd to the 27^th of July doing presentations about how to teach English as a Foreign Language as well as just telling them about my personal experiences from the past year. After that, I am headed to Manakara to teach English to terminale students for a few weeks before their BACC exam. In order to pass high school, all terminale (the equivalent of a high school senior) must pass the BACC exam. It is an exciting job because it is with students who are choosing to study English outside of class. Similar to an English club, you don’t have to worry about the attentiveness or motivation of your students in this situation. After the teaching gig in Manakara I will head to another volunteer’s site to help out with a soccer tournament she is organizing. I believe we are also going to give smaller presentations about things like malaria, HIV/AIDS, gardening, and other Peace Corps initiatives while the tournament is going on. After that, I am hoping to go on a small vacation before my parents visit for a week. Very excited to see them and watch them rough it for a week in Madagascar. After they leave I will go back to Tana for a conference with the group of volunteers that I came into this country with to talk about what we have experienced in the first year and what we are planning for the next year. After that, I am headed back to my village again to start another school year. Hopefully by that time, my library project will be approved and will have started fundraising.

I hope everyone is doing well wherever you are. So long for now.

99 Problems and the First World Ain't One

Life is looking up here on the Red Island. I think I have mentioned before the manic-depressive behavior that comes with being a Peace Corps volunteer. Well, it starts from the beginning. You come to country with these grand ideas - some that you later realize were not very well thought out – but you are sure your presence in what appears to be a forsaken country will still be nothing but positive. Then, you get to site, realize that you never really understood the phrase ‘middle-of-nowhere’ until that moment and slowly these grand ideas come crashing down and the self-doubt creeps in like a bad dream. No doubt this happens to hundreds, if not thousands of Peace Corps volunteers all over the world. You will love your job one day and curse yourself and your host country the next. It is an emotional rollercoaster unlike any I have ever experienced. The Peace Corps motto used to be “the toughest job you’ll ever love.” I don’t know why it changed, but I get it.

A few weeks back my service hit a few rough patches. I was still working on my library grant proposal long after the deadline I had set for myself. This was due largely to the fact that the lycee lost a ton of money courtesy of its secretary. As I mentioned in my previous blog, this man continues to work at the lycee because he is a state employee and therefore cannot be fired by the lycee or its Proviseur. Recently, I was actually told that many of the people in the town (and most of the teachers) believe the Proviseur may be in on the scam. Can’t tell you how depressing that would be if it turns out to be true. I should also add that the secretary who stole the money is still in charge of getting the money every few weeks from the bank in Manakara (this despite my constant protests to the Proviseur and the rest of the staff). In addition to the finanacial issues, classes were being cancelled at an unbelievable rate for reasons that seemed completely ridiculous to me: two teachers’ meetings (we all live within shouting distance of each other so there is no reason we can’t meet at any other time than when kids are supposed to have class and they are supposed to work), a day for students to clean up the school yard and basketball court, and an obscene amount of religious holidays. Granted, I am not a very good catholic. Quite frankly, the only reason I consider myself catholic is because my parents are/were and I wear a Celtic cross for sentimental value. Whatever happened to the good old days of separation of church and state?! I volunteer at a public school yet religion has clearly sunk its claws deep into the fabric of this country’s basic functionality. I apologize if I offend anyone. I don’t mean to personify religion as an angry cat, but in my opinion some things are better left without G’s opinion.

Anyway, all these things seemed to happen at once. Then, with classes being cancelled at such an alarming rate it was nearly impossible to get any lessons through to my students. I would teach them one thing and then they wouldn’t see it again for another week and a half and God knows they aren’t studying at home (see what I did there). In addition to forgetting basic information, some students were getting egregiously disrespectful in class and others who, when I kicked them out for being disrespectful, happily hopped up and acted as if I were doing them the biggest favor. It is weeks like these where I am asking myself: what in the hell am I doing here? How can one volunteer ever make a difference when there are clearly so many bigger problems with this country than whether or not a few people can speak English? Sometimes when students start laughing at me when I misspeak in Malagasy I think to myself, ‘why do you deserve my help?’ A few times I have even started to question why I am about to ask all of you for money to help me pay for a library when I am questioning whether or not it is deserved. Usually a few hours will go by and I read a book or something to take my mind off of the whole experience for a while.

After nearly a year in this country, I think I am finally getting it though. The bottom line is this library is not intended for the masses. Sure, I would love to have everyone in the Faraony region lining up out the door to read a few books and study some English, but it will never happen and I would be doomed to think so. The reason I am here, the reason I am teaching at a lycee in Madagascar, trying to build a library, teaching multiple English clubs and speaking really bad English with kids at random hours of the day is because I am making a monumental difference in the lives of the few. And that is more than enough. It’s one thing to tell yourself you aren’t going to change the world in two years before you leave, but it is another thing entirely to come to that realization while you are in your service. I have arrived at and passed that point and couldn’t be happier about it. Even if there is no physical affirmation of my presence here (ex. if my library project does not go through for some reason) I know there are students, teachers, and people here whose lives will never be the same because of that American guy who lived with them for a little while. It is the little victories that assure me of this.

Little Victory #1

Two students were in my house and we were all sitting around speaking English (or attempting to) when one of them asked what classes I will be teaching next year. I told him I didn’t know but assumed the same ones as this year. One grew a huge smile and the other sunk into his chair a bit and said, “I am going to be in Premiere A” which is a class I don’t teach. He added, “I learn good you.” I jokingly thought to myself ‘clearly you don’t’ and then corrected him. It was particularly depressing since we had just gone over adverbs (how bout that for some English grammar humor?).

Little Victory #2

A student who has drastically improved his English since I first met him has started coming to my house pretty regularly to learn new vocab and practice his speaking. Last week he told me, “You not speak Malagasy with me” or in English “Please don’t speak Malagasy with me anymore.” I couldn’t have been happier. He now comes to my house every morning for a half an hour before classes start.

Little Victory #3

I was showing the plans for the library to the other English teacher who works at the lycee. She appeared awestruck by basic CAD drawings and said, “We are all praying that we are able to build this.”

Little Victory #4

I finally sent in my library project proposal. I am now waiting on Peace Corps to hopefully give me the approval so that I can officially start bothering you all for money.

Little Victory #5

A library doesn’t look so good without books. I recently secured a way to get more than 1,000 books for the library if it is approved. They should arrive in a few months.

Little Victory #6

I just built a garden in my backyard because no Peace Corps home is complete without a garden. It actually took me about 3-4 weeks to cut my grass with a hook-shaped knife about the size of your hand. I don’t have a lot of space, but it was like a jungle out there and the knife isn’t very sharp nor does it cover a lot of surface area with one strike. Anyways, I planted tomatoes, cauliflower, green beans and peppers. I am hoping for a good yield, but if not I will definitely try again. I’m hoping this garden will get the other teachers who live around me interested in doing the same. The town where vegetables are sold is about 2km away. Since everyone walks everywhere, it’s a bit of a pain in the ass. I’m hoping the teachers and I can either eat the vegetables ourselves and save some money and a long walk or sell some of it and use it for the library.

Check it out! 

Little Victory #7

A bunch of new volunteers arrived here in the southeast region a few weeks ago and all of them seem really cool. Really excited for our camping weekend/meeting in a few weeks.

------

I didn’t mean for this blog to be so preachy. My apologies. Usually I just keep all this stuff to myself and the world continues to turn, but I thought you all might want to know what it is really like to be a PCV in my situation.

I want to leave you with a funny story. One of my English club students came over the other day while I was creating my garden. He said hi and was talking with me in broken English for a bit before he introduced his friend (whose name I can’t remember). I asked them what they were doing and why they stopped by. Next thing I know I was getting a lecture from one of Jehovah’s witnesses in the comfy confines of my wooden home in the middle of nowhere in Madagascar. Could not believe it. I have several pamphlets I can now use to light my trash on fire.

GO WINGS!

Life at the Lycee and New Volunteers

Apologies for my lengthy absence from my blog…

Things here at the lycee hit a bit of a rocky point recently. We found out that the secretary of the lycee has been stealing money. Some of the teachers are paid by the state and some are paid by the FRAM (which is the equivalent of a PTA). The secretarty has been stealing money from this PTA fund which meaning several teachers went almost two months without getting paid. In this country that means to you starve. Anyway, those teachers have since been paid, but the secretary still works here even though everyone knows he is a thief. Unfortunately, he is an employee of the state and therefore can only be fired by the Minister of Education here in Madagascar. The lycee cannot fire him. Yes, I also thought this was unbelievable.

Many of you know I am already working on a project to build a library here in Ampasimanjeva, but Peace Corps rules require that the community contribute at least 25% of the project’s total cost. The FRAM was all set to be a big help until this minor hiccup with the secretary. I don’t know how much was stolen, but I do know that it was an insane amount even for American currency. It seems we are close to getting back to normal here and people still seem to want to put money into this library project so that is encouraging. I am sending my library proposal to Peace Corps today for their review. Fingers crossed that it gets approved. Hopefully will find out in the next month or so.

Early April was vacation time for teachers. I went to a national park with a few other volunteers: we saw some lemurs, hung out at a waterfall and had a good time in the bush for a few days. We also managed to get robbed in the middle of the night in our bungalow. Even still, had a great time.

But enough of the doom and gloom…on to the bright side.

This past month was Malaria awareness month. Malaria kills tens of thousands of people in Madagascar every year so it is still very much a problem. Peace Corps countries in Africa had a competition to see who could put on the most Malaria-related event. I painted two murals with some other volunteers – one on the hospital in my town and one on a primary school in another volunteer’s town. I used to scoff at the idea of Peace Corps volunteers doing murals on buildings. It seemed childish and a like a complete waste of time. But man was I wrong. Our murals showed ways to prevent Malaria, how to take care of your mosquito net, symptoms of Malaria and what to do if you have Malaria. The amount of attention these things attract is like something I never could have imagined. Hundreds, if not thousands, of people go to this hospital every week and will see the mural. Not only that, but a lot of these people genuinely don’t understand things about Malaria that you or I may have picked up because we have gone through school or been or a hospital in our lives. After we finished the mural in my town we gave a little speech to the people who were there explaining Malaria and the mural itself. They seemed to enjoy it. I also gave Malaria lessons in my three classes. Our region won the Malaria competition within Madagascar last year. Hoping for a repeat.

                My buddy Nick and I after we finished the Malaria mural outside the hospital in my town.

New volunteers will arrive at their new sites in a few days. I will also have a new site mate who I am very excited to meet and show around like my old site mate Al did for me. Pretty weird to think I was in her position only a few months ago and now I feel so comfortable in this environment.

Speaking of new volunteers, there will be more education volunteers coming in July. I applied to be one of the trainers and got the position, so that is pretty exciting. The position also means all the trainers have to go to the training center before they arrive to talk about how Peace Corps wants us to train these new volunteers This meeting takes place during July 4^th weekend so it will be cool to be with a few other Americans for that.

I was also offered a position at a small library for kids in a town called Ifaty for the summer. I’m hoping I can still do it now that I have this training position. Anyone who knows me know that I don’t like a lot of down time so this will be huge during the school vacation. Also, I can get the opportunity to see how a Malagasy library functions before I hopefully open up my own in my town.

Three times a year the volunteers in each region get together to talk about policy changes that Peace Corps is making or talk about any changes that volunteers want to see or problems they are having. I am in charge of organizing the meeting for the volunteers in the South East region. Another volunteer (who lives close to the spot we have picked for our next meeting) and I have set up a camping weekend in what could roughly be described as the middle of nowhere. Very excited about it. There is a waterfall, we are gonna do some hiking, and just hang out in the woods for a few days at the end of June. Should be a good time. you can imagine how important these meetings can be to volunteers after being at site for a long time, not seeing other Americans or getting to speak English.

I have more to say, but I think that is good for now. Maybe I'll come back tomorrow and add a few things if there is time. The new volunteers for the South East arrive on Sunday, which is why I am in Manakara for the weekend. We are going to welcome them, help them buy stuff for their house and then go with them to their new site, which will be their home for the next two years.

Peace! Go Wings!