In the first few days of being back in the States a few things have caught my attention:
- My mother's reaction to flies in the house. One fly will send her into what could accurately be described as an overblown tirade. She should have come check out my kabone (poop hole) in Madagascar on a hot day.
- The suspension systems on cars. My mom was driving towards a rather large pot hole near a sewer going about 45 MPH. I started to cringe cause she wasn't slowing down. However, the impact wouldn't have been enough to spill a full wine glass on a mattress (and I'm not talking about one of those nice Tempur Pedic mattresses from the commercial. I'm talking a Malagasy sponge mattress). I thought for sure the bottom of the car was going to fall out and I would have been run over by a caravan of speeding Sprinters (a large van) all hell bent on being the first shitbox to make it to their destination.
- Prices/Tip. I bought two pints of beer for my brother and I the other day. $14 with tip. I'm not complaining because it was a good beer, but that is also the equivalent of 14 65cl THBs (a big beer) which would lead to significant and probably deadly alcohol poisoning.
- Water fountains. Being able to trust drinking water, especially those right next to the bathroom, is pretty incredible. But the real reason I added this is because the water fountain I saw in the Atlanta airport was hands free. Are you kidding me?! Are we that lazy now? I bent over and looked like a bonafide moron waving my hands in different directions trying to activate the water fountain while keeping my mouth open and eyes fixed on the spout. I also couldn't help but blink cause you never know when its gonna come out or if it will get all over your face. Are you envisioning this debacle? Pretty funny, right? Go ahead. I would have laughed too had it not been so sad and pathetic. I also never actually got any water so I left with my face beat red and full of embarrassment. I got some water from sink in the bathroom and so far it has not led to gastroenteritis.
- Not having to buy a beer or food from my parents in order to charge my computer or iPod in their house. It doesn't even seem fair. (When a PCV needs to charge something, he or she will go to some establishment and purchase something in order to offset the cost of the electricity use. When multiple PCVs go together, it can often look like NASA has set up shop in Madagascar).
- And one I am not surprised by, but is still a problem for me is that one will receive the stink (pun intended) eye and a frown for a smelly fart, not a high five. This could take some getting used to again.
I'm sure there will be many more things that blow my mind for various reasons. I'll try to keep a running list.
A funny thing happened a few weeks ago while I was playing in a Malagasy Independence Day basketball tournament in Manakara. You all remember fripe? I have explained it here before, but basically it is a clothing vendor on the street whose retail line is usually made up of clothing items people have donated from first world countries. These clothing items have a wide range and rarely will you ever see a single vendor specialize in a certain article of clothing. The average Malagasy person wears clothes out of function, not fashion (for those who know me, you can imagine how well I fit in). There are many Malagasy people who try to get a hold on the latest fad in the first world and replicate it. Many succeed, others fail (so I'm told by other PCVs. God knows I'm in no position to judge people on their dress).
At a basketball game, you wouldn't expect anyone to be dressing for fashion, right? That's what I thought, at least. I was sitting with my team on the side of the court watching the game before ours when a player on another team walked through the gate. He looked like (or at least was trying to look like) a genuine badass. He had a fade haircut, a cigarette in his mouth, and aviator glasses on. His sleeveless dry-fit Nike shirt was clean and tight (a poor choice as our friend was/is a tad overweight) and he actually had basketball shoes! He walked in with the bravado that he owned the place and was a force to be reckoned with on a basketball court. He also had a pair of black mesh shorts on with a brand name on the thigh that looked oddly familiar to me, but I couldn't quite see it clearly. I got up and walked over to him for a closer look. The uncontrollable laughter began immediately after I recognized the shorts. The writing on the thigh said "Itech" and his so-called "shorts" was actually a pair of hockey jock shorts which come with velcro flaps on the front and back of each thigh to hold your hockey socks up.
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| These are the jock shorts he was wearing except black. For any non-hockey players here, you adhere your hockey socks to those black flaps to keep them from falling down. |
Being a hockey player I thought this was particularly hilarious so there was absolutely no way I wasn't going to ask him about his fashion statement:
(translated from Malagasy so remember something could have gotten lost in the translation)...
Me: Hey! What's up? I like your shorts.
Him: Thanks.
Me: Did you buy them here in Manakara?
Him: Yeah. I got them last week.
Me: How much did they cost?
Him: 4,000 ariary (less than $2).
Me: What's with this thing on your leg [pointing to velcro flaps]?
Him: I still don't know, but this is what athletes outside of Madagascar wear these days.
Me: Really? Like who?
Him: Do you know LeBron James?
Me: [Hits head against wall].
